The Greatest Little Hellhole on Earth

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So, CNN just published a little exercise in clickbait under the try-hard title “We searched for America’s best towns to visit. Here are the top 10.”

And as is often the case, our very own Queen City made the list for, according to the subhead, “Lovely surroundings, farm-fresh food, community spirit.”

Not mentioned: Violence, insecurity, homelessness, substance use, vandalism. You know, the stuff that consumes the imagination and rhetoric of Gov. Phil Scott and his collaborators in the Burlington Democratic Party, not to mention the “if it bleeds, it leads” world of teevee news.

I know, you can’t put too much stock in these kinds of rankings. They aren’t exactly done with the most scrupulous of journalistic standards, and they do gloss over the faults and failings of the communities listed. (New Haven, which has public safety problems that make Burlington look like a daycare, ranked #2 on the list.)

Burlington does have problems, and I don’t mean to minimize them. But it’s also, as CNN put it, “a close-knit community, where civic engagement runs deep.” And there’s the waterfront and the lake and Church Street and Pine Street and the Old North End and the UVM campus and the nearby mountains, among many other positives about our biggest little city.

So maybe Our Political Betters could spend a bit more time actually helping Burlington with positive language and policies instead of trashing it for short-term political gain.

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Instant Statewide Ticket, Just Add Water

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Stop the presses! Big news from the world of Vermont politics! The state Republican Party just filled out its statewide ticket with three people who… uhhhh… you’ve never heard of. And who have roughly the same chance of winning as I do, and I won’t be on the ballot.

The few who voted in the Republican primary were greeted, over and over again, by the name of H. Brooke Paige, Vermont’s favorite novelty candidate. He was the only name on the Republican ballot for attorney general, auditor, secretary of state, and treasurer. His stated intent was to occupy those slots so no Democrat could slide to an easy write-in victory. (It happened in 2020 when Doug Hoffer captured the Democratic, Republican, and Progressive nominations and won the November election with 84% of the vote.) After the primary, Paige withdrew from all races except secretary of state, allowing the state Republican committee to nominate replacement candidates.

And now they have. I don’t know if they picked names out of a hat or held a W.C. Fields lottery* or if some thought actually went into the exercise, but it really doesn’t matter. None of the “lucky” three nominees has a snowball’s chance of winning in November. Vermont Public ran a brief story about their nominations but didn’t put in the slightest effort at identifying them beyond their names and home towns.

*”First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.”

So just for shits and giggles, let’s fire up the Internet Machine and see what we can learn about these three “major party” candidates.

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Phil Scott Presses Thumb Firmly on the Partisan Scale

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Here’s a screenshot from a recent hostage video political message posted on Gov. Phil Scott’s non-governmental Facebook account. And if there was any doubt about whether Scott is first and foremost a political animal, this video should remove it entirely.

The video was posted on August 6, five days before the primary, and it’s a brazen invitation for Republicans to vote in the Democratic primary. Specifically, Scott wanted Republican voters to tip the scales in the primaries for Chittenden County State’s Attorney and Sheriff. He openly supported Bram Kranichfeld’s bid to unseat incumbent Sarah Fair George (and let’s not forget that she would never have been chief county prosecutor if not for the fact that Scott himself appointed her, pause for ironic laughter), and incumbent Sheriff Dan Gamelin over challenger Kevin Bloom.

This is beyond the pale. It’s blatant meddling in Democratic Party affairs. I can’t say I’m ever surprised anymore at what our media fails to cover because there’s so goddamn much they don’t cover, but this ought to have been a big story before primary day. It should still be a big story.

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Now, This Is a Fascinating Map of Vermont

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No, not THAT map. Although it’s fascinating in its own way; it seems that Vermont has been gay-friendly for a very long time. Ooh, strapping young men with powerful (ahem) tools!

But I digress, and right off the top too. I’m referring to a map prepared by VTDigger’s ace data reporter Erin Petenko which I dare not reproduce for copyright reasons. You’ll have to check it out in situ. Scroll down far enough in Digger’s recap of Amanda Janoo’s primary victory and you’ll see it.

The map shows how each Vermont city and town voted in the Democratic gubernatorial primary. You can see at a glance which candidate won where. (If you run your cursor over a town, the map shows you the winner’s name and their percentage of the vote. Also, for real nerds, the caption includes a link to the Secretary of State’s Excel spreadsheet containing all the results town-by-town.)

And the map is kind of a muddle with some really interesting features.

The first thing I noticed, because of my membership on the board of The Hardwick Gazette, is that Janoo did extremely well in The Gazette’s home turf. She took 72% of the vote in Greensboro, 68% in Hardwick, 67% in Stannard, 66% in Woodbury, 65% in Craftsbury, and 60% in Walden. She also did very well in nearby communities like Elmore, Barton, and Glover, hometown and legal nemesis of Lt. Gov. John Rodgers.

Indeed, Janoo scored well across a great swath of northern Vermont from Franklin County through Lamoille and Orleans and into the Northeast Kingdom. Just south of that you find a thinner band of Aly Richards strongpoints, from the Burlington suburbs through the Barre-Montpelier area and on to the upper Connecticut River Valley. And south of that is another Janoo band in Addison, Orange, and Windsor counties. Southern Vermont is a mixed bag, with Janoo scoring well in the southeast and south central, and getting a pocket of support along the New York border in places like Middletown Springs, Wells, and Pawlet. Richards dominated the rest of the southern tier below a line from Orwell to Norwich.

See what I mean? Make sense of that, will you?

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It’s a Janoo Day, Yes It Is

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For those unfamiliar, this was The New Day, an uber-popular tag team in the WWE who began their entrance routine with the slogan “It’s a new day, yes it is.” I’m not suggesting that newly minted gubernatorial nominee Amanda Janoo adopt it as a campaign slogan because WWE has squadrons of copyright lawyers on speed dial. But the sentiment is appropriate after Janoo, a candidate of progressive ideas, won out over the well-funded but sketchily defined Aly Richards.

Richards began her campaign with a pitch amounting to “A lot like Phil Scott, but nicer and maybe more competent” and ended with the generous backing of an independent PAC operating under the blandest possible name “Time for a Change.” Turns out that wasn’t a compelling message. Who could have guessed.

It was a big missed opportunity for Richards. Her stewardship of Let’s Grow Kids is an authentic political success story. She shepherded a major child care reform plan through the Legislature and got Gov. Phil Scott to sign it*. Since then, he’s been constantly whingeing about one Democratic initiative or another — but never ever utters a word about the child care plan. To me, that’s proof of its popularity.

*Correction: Scott vetoed the bill and the Legislature overrode. Which makes his subsequent reticence all the more noticeable.

Richards could have used child care as a banner of progressive reform. Or if you prefer, solid Democratic reform. She could have presented plans to address other major issues instead of vague gestures. Instead, she used LGK as proof of her backstage maneuvering success. It was a process argument, and those rarely resonate with voters.

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Primary Night Instant Reaction, To Be UPDATED Until All the Key Races are Settled

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So it’s primary night in Vermont, and as the results come in, I’m here to read and react. Stay tuned!

Maybe Planet Hank Isn’t a Genius After All. The first contested race to be called by the Associated Press was the Republican primary for the chance to lose to U.S. Rep. Becca Balint in November. And the big winner was Gerald Malloy, who beat Mark Coester by a better than two-to-one margin. Coester’s low-rent campaign leaned heavily on AI-generated Balint attack videos produced by “Planet Hank” Poitras. I had worried that Hank could prove to be a rising star in Vermont conservative circles, because those folks are often drawn to extreme, flashy rhetoric. My concerns are significantly assuaged tonight. Not that we can close the books on Hank, but Coester’s lopsided loss blows a big hole in Hank’s reputation for strategery.

Malloy, meanwhile, kinda-sorta positioned himself as the “moderate,” if only by the current standards of Republican politics. The few Malloy campaign signs I spotted did not feature his notorious scary eagle logo, which I guess was part of the rebranding? No matter; Malloy is destined to go down to his third consecutive defeat in November. In 2022 he got 28% of the vote to Peter Welch’s 68.5% in the race for U.S. Senate. In 2024 he upped his total to 32% while Bernie Sanders took 63%. At this rate, Malloy will win an election in the year 2036. I think that’s a highly optimistic view of his political future.

Molly Gray’s Big Night. The second major race to be called was the Democratic primary for lieutenant governor. Turned out the UNH opinion polls got this one right; former LG Molly Gray had no trouble defeating Ryan McLaren and Esther Charlestin. McLaren’s furious fundraising and spending elevated him from a third-place tie with Charlestin to a solid but very distant second. As of this writing, Gray has more than twice as many votes as McLaren.

(The UNH polls were equally prophetic about the Malloy/Coester race. Maybe we should take the other results seriously?)

Instant reax: Gray had a huge advantage in name recognition entering the contest. Mclaren is well known in Democratic circles but had no public profile to speak of before he launched his campaign. He didn’t have much time to close that gap. And I have to say, he didn’t present a convincing rationale for his candidacy — not convincing enough for voters to abandon the candidate they knew. McLaren complained about internal Vermont Democratic Party doings, a tactic that didn’t resonate with the public and may have hurt him with party insiders. He apparently tossed another grenade last month that exploded in the forest and nobody heard? This intriguing nugget from VTDigger’s election night coverage:

In strongly worded interviews, McLaren told VTDigger last month that both of his opponents were falling back on the lieutenant governor role after failing to achieve a higher office (referring, in Gray’s case, to an unsuccessful U.S. House run in 2022).

The Digger story does not include a link to any previous coverage of McLaren’s “strongly worded” remarks, and I don’t remember reading anything about them. Did I miss it? Did Digger not think his statements were newsworthy? If so, that’s an egregious error.

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I Hope the Democrats Have Money Left After the Primary

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The good news, if you favor the Democrats, is that many of their candidates have been able to raise impressive amounts of money in advance of next week’s primary.

The bad news: They’ve spent a lot of their cash in ways that are only tangentially related to advancing the cause in November. Here’s hoping there’s more money where all of that came from.

I mean, look: The two top Democratic candidates for lieutenant governor, Molly Gray and Ryan McLaren, have raised a combined total of close to $750,000. That should be more than enough to fuel an entire campaign for the ol’ bucket of warm piss, but Gray and Mclaren are going to spend most of it by next Tuesday. Gray’s reported spending totaled $248,000 as of August 1, while McLaren had spent $293,000 by then — plus another $52,000 on TV ads reported separately after he’d filed his 8/1 report. Add it all up, that’s $593,000 spent, invested, squandered, take your pick, on the Democratic nomination for an essentially ceremonial office.

The two gubernatorial candidates, meanwhile, have raised $742,000 and spent $632,000. (Amanda Janoo: raised $303,000 and spent $255,000; Aly Richards raised $439,000 and spent $347,000.) The winner will have exceeded expectations for fundraising, but August 12 will find her back at the bottom of the mountain having to push the giant boulder up to the top. As of August 1, Richards had $92,000 in the bank but has spent another $30,000 on TV ads since then, which drops her account balance down to $62,000. Janoo had $46,000 in the bank on August 1 and has since spent $2,000 more on Facebook ads, so her known balance is at $44,000.

Gov. Phil Scott, meanwhile, has been coasting along. He entered the campaign with $240,000 left over from 2024. He’s spent virtually nothing and raised a modest amount, bringing his bank balance up to $309,000. In other words, the Democratic winner will have to do some heavy lifting just to catch up with the governor. And if he feels threatened at all, he’ll kick it in high gear and his base will respond. Two years ago Howard Dean estimated that a challenge to Scott would cost a minimum of $2 million; that seems like a reasonable amount. The Democratic nominee will have less than three months to build a warchest and mount a statewide challenge against a popular governor. Calling it “a tall order” seems like an understatement.

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The Barons Have Lowered Their Sights for 2026

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This is a screenshot from state Sen. Steven Heffernan’s latest campaign finance report. You may recognize the names; the first is actually Amy Tarrant of the Richard Tarrant Cinematic Universe; the other three are Burlington-area developer/real estate types.

The Addison County Republican, allegedly a champion of rural Vermont, is getting virtually all of his money from greater Burlington. In the month of July, Heffernan received a mere four donations of $100 or less and 54 donations of more than $100. NONE of the large gifts were from his own district. All but a handful came from Chittenden County. Grassroots? More like Astroturf.

Now I ask you, do the Barons of Burlington give a rat’s ass about the problems of rural Vermont? Of course they don’t. All they want is a reliable anti-tax vote in the state Senate. (They also have no qualms about supporting an extremist who holds deeply prejudiced views about gender-nonconforming folk.)

After the July 1 campaign finance deadline, I noted a distinct lack of activity from the Barons. In July 2024 they’d flooded the zone with four-figure gifts to the campaigns of several Republican Senate candidates plus John Rodgers, who went on to win the lieutenant governorship. So I wondered if this year’s August 1 reports would reveal another round of early-summer Baronial largesse.

The answer is yes, but in a much more limited and less impactful way.

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“Every Alarm Bell in My Body Is Ringing Right Now”

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Something happened last Wednesday that should have been a big news story, but it wasn’t. I was out of town so it took me some time to catch up, but you know, I felt pretty secure in thinking that I wouldn’t be scooped by anyone in our sadly depleted media ecosystem. Good for me, bad for the public interest, but here we are.

What I’m talking about is a costly, potentially catastrophic situation involving one of the Scott administration’s information technology initiatives.In brief, this project is badly over budget and way behind schedule. There are huge potential risks, known and unknown. Nobody knows how much the thing will cost, how long it would take to complete the work — or if that is even possible. This includes the boffins at Gov. Phil Scott’s much-touted innovation, the Agency of Digital Services.

Have I got your attention?

Here’s something else. The quote in the title came from Republican Sen. David Weeks of Rutland, a political ally of the governor. He knows whereof he speaks; according to his official bio, his career involved “high-level program management positions in the defense and security sectors” involving “high technology operations and project management in the $3 billion range.”

In other words, Weeks may have more experience in IT-related management than anyone at ADS. And he was appalled at what he heard in a July 29 legislative hearing.

Have I got your attention now?

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Scott Admin Does Blatantly Political Thing and Accuses His Opponents of Playing Politics, Part Eleventy-Billion

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If this wasn’t reported as an in-kind donation to the Bram Kranichfeld campaign, it’s only because the dollars-and-cents value was incalculable. Last week, out of nowhere, and without extending the courtesy of informing the mayor of Vermont’s largest and most important city, the Scott administration dispatched the Vermont State Police to patrol the allegedly mean streets of Burlington.

Scott spokesperson Amanda Wheeler had the unmitigated gall to provide this comment to VTDigger: “This is nothing more than the Governor wanting to make sure Burlington is safe for residents and visitors, despite others framing this as a political issue.”

Oh, come ON. Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

As is often the case, the governor is the one who’s playing politics and, like a certain orange-skinned chief executive, accusing his political rivals of the very thing he’s engaging in. I think they call that “deflection.”

In case you think I’m exaggerating, let’s look at the course of events.

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