Here’s a phrase that’s probably never been said before: “Soon we’ll be longing for the golden days of Guy Page.”
And here’s another: “Mary Beerworth is the sane person in this group.”
Allow me to explain. Guy Page of the conservative “news” site Vermont Daily Chronicle has announced the end of his association with WDEV Radio, where he had been holding down the 11:00 a.m. weekday slot with his call-in program “Hot Off the Press.” He is, in fact, taking his talents (such as they are) to WVMT Radio in Colchester, where he will host the 12:00 noon slot Monday through Friday.
That, in itself, wouldn’t induce me to write. What put this story over the top was the list of luminaries who will collectively occupy the timeslot forsaken by Mr. Page. All of them have made previous appearances in this space in notably dubious circumstances.
This, my friends, is what you get when you ask Canva’s AI illustration tool to render “Vermont landscape.” And it’s a great example of the stuff you see when you visit websites or social media feeds for conservative candidates or causes.There’s a lot of AI usage; there are also things like tech bros defending rural Vermont and sudden-onset farmers with possibly inoperative staycation programs. In short, there’s a hell of a lot of astroturf in the conservative ideosphere.
These groups and individuals allegedly believe that rural Vermont is a precious resource, central to our very identity, and the people who live there are the true, authentic Vermonters, not those miserable lefty masses huddled in our “urban” communities. And yet these people present themselves with an inauthentic feel that makes you wonder what the hell is going on.
With AI maybe it’s a rights issue, not wanting to pay for copyrighted photography. Or maybe it’s just too haaaaaaaaard to do a DuckDuckGo image search. Or possibly, spitballin’ here, these color-saturated simulacra reveal something about the fakeness of the message itself. Because the Golden Age of the “real Vermont” — you know, the time before the unkempt flatlander rabble of hippies and Bernie Sanders fans descended upon the Green Mountain State — never actually existed.
So, when Sen. Russ Ingalls’ The Vermont Party posts a(n AI image of a) lapel pin saying “Make Vermont Vermont Again,” what year or time period does he have in mind?
I’m guessing it’s before the construction of the interstate freeway system, the development ranked by longtime journalist Chris Graff as the most consequential in recent Vermont history*. Before the freeways came, Vermont was a sleepy backwater that was difficult to navigate, so hardly anybody bothered to try. The freeways made our state much more accessible, enabling the arrival of those damn hippies and progressive types who eventually staged a hostile takeover of Vermont’s social order. (Never forget, Romain Tenney died for your sins.)
*Census data confirms Graff’s hypothesis. Our population grew extremely slowly from 1900 to 1960. The freeways triggered three decades of double-digit growth, sending our population from 360,000 to 563,000.
Sad to say, but we’ve arrived at the point where Scary Eagle Man is the only sensible choice.
That’s because Gerald Malloy is running for the Republican Congressional nomination against hyper-manly-man Mark Coester, seen here in an AI-generated video purportedly wagging his finger in U.S. Rep. Becca Balint’s face. I’d dare him to try that in real life. He’d find out just how scrappy that little dyke can be.
And if the Republican primary electorate chooses Coester over Malloy, then we’ll know for sure that Gov. Phil Scott’s version of Republicanism is well and truly dead. Because if there was any doubt about whether Coester is a certified far-right whack job [Narrator: “There wasn’t“], he removed it in one brief conversation with Seven Days’ Kevin McCallum.
In said conversation, he addressed McCallum as a “libtard fuck,” and later added this gem: “These commie fucks in Vermont pass whatever garbage fuckin’ laws they want to. They can do what and they can kiss my ass…”
As a loyal member of the Vermont Commie Fucks Club, let me say I am honored to be a target of Mr. Coester’s spittle-flecked outburst. (Disclosure: I’m just guessing about the spittle, but I think I’m on safe ground.)
This Just In! From your friends at Vermont Daily Chronicle: State Sen. Russ Ingalls, a very conservative fellow from the Kingdom, is launching a… well, he calls it a party, but he insists it’s not a party at all. It’s just called a “party” to, you know, keep us all on our toes or summat.
This apparent contradiction forced the Republican-friendly Chronicle to post this quadruple backflip of clarification:
[Editor’s note: Previous VDC coverage, including an earlier edition of this new story, has included references to “a new party,” words Ingalls said he has not made in public or in private. He confirmed to VDC today that he is starting a platform, and that he never said he was starting a party. He did not say, when asked, if he plans for The Vermont Party to become a political party. As a result, for clarity’s sake, VDC has edited wording in this news story from ‘a new party’ to ‘The Vermont Party.’]
Gee, I dunno how the Chronicle learned of something called The Vermont Party and jumped to the conclusion that the venture was… a party. How presumptuous. How rude. How unfair to the good Senator.
There are many points of interest to this story, but if you’re going to take away one lesson, it should be about the importance of healthy local news media. Because if not for The Montpelier Bridge, the doughty nonprofit news organization, nobody in and around the city would know that a hinky-as-all-getout “health spa” seems to be operating right in the middle of downtown. In a building co-owned by a current candidate for state Senate, no less.
No, not in some half-empty strip mall on the outskirts or in a ramshackle building along a truck route. It’s in a prime storefront, just a couple of blocks away from the Statehouse. (Which makes me yearn for a look at the outfit’s client list, just to check for political types stuck in the nation’s smallest capital city for several months with plenty of spare time on their, or someone else’s, hands.)
Back in March, The Bridgefirst broke the story of the “Hawaiian Spa” and another dubious enterprise in a more downmarket address in Montpelier. In its most recent edition, the story was revisited and updated. Has anyone else followed suit? Not the local almost-daily Times Argus. Not Seven Days, which often strays down to central Vermont to cover state politics and local businesses. VTDigger, which frequently publishes content from The Bridge, has kept its hands off this hot potato.
If not for The Bridge, would anyone outside the local constabulary know? I don’t think so. And while there’s no absolute proof that the Hawaiian spa is selling massages with happy endings, its presence is surely a matter of public interest.
There’s a video clip making the rounds. It’s from an AI-generated YouTube channel offering “news” about the wonderful world of pro wrestling. The machine narrator is uncannily making its way through the AI-written copy when it comes to the acronym “WWE,” kind of a fundamental item for a wrestling channel. It doesn’t know how to pronounce “WWE,” and falls into a doom loop. At first it’s repeating “Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu-Wu” over and over again. Then the voice takes on a tone of desperation, as if it knows it’s screwing up but can’t stop. Eventually the sound devolves into a bunch of truly disturbing chokes, splutters, and noises not found in nature. It’s entertaining until it gets really uncomfortable.
I thought of this while reading a recent offering from Compass Vermont, the presumably AI-generated Substack newsletter. I don’t spend much time on Compass because it is completely unreliable. Some stuff is fine, there’s even the occasional scoop. But a lot of it reveals a conservative bias. And worse, the site offers no transparency whatsoever about who’s writing, who’s editing, or any information at all about its internal processes. No staff are identified except for Tom Davis, Compass’ “founder.” His ongoing role is not described.
I can’t say for sure Compass is an AI product, but it sure displays the hallmarks. And the item in question, “Update: Late filings reduce Vermont’s 2027 committee chair turnover from 13 to 8,” shows what happens when AI takes a pratfall into the mud and can’t get up again.
This is what I got when I asked Canva’s AI illustration generator to give me a picture of “donkeys debating,” in case you wondered whether AI is ready to manage human civilization on our behalf. (Behalves?)
Anyway, the subject for today’s sermon is the Democratic primary for governor, featuring two worthy but unconventional candidates: Economic policy analyst Amanda Janoo versus Aly Richards, best known as the former head of Let’s Grow Kids. One can only hope that the primary campaign will start attracting more than token attention, now that the legislative session is safely in the rear-view.
(Prime example of token attention: This WPTZ-TV whiz-banger from March 11 entitled “Vermont Gov. Phil Scott applauds Amanda Janoo for running for governor.” We’re so glad you approve, sir.)
If you’re of a mind to pay some attention, there’s no better place to begin than two recent editions of “802 News,” the podcast hosted by veteran journalist (a.k.a. Fellow Old Guy) Mark Johnson. He conducted in-depth interviews with both candidates, providing insight into the beliefs and personalities of the two contenders in a convenient two-part package. Listening to them gives you a clear picture of two candidates who promise very different approaches to the office.
The Vermont Political Observer. 