They’ll have to pry my Creemee from my cold dead fingers

Warning! Perimeter alert! Corporate invaders at three o’clock!

Dairy Queen is returning to Vermont.

… “We’d love to see [a franchisee] commit during 2016 and have an opportunity to open the first store in 2016 or early 2017,” [DQ VP Jim] Kerr said. “I think we have a pretty good chance.”

Kerr believes Burlington could support as many as five Dairy Queens, and that there are 15 to 20 potential locations in Vermont as a whole.

“Our goal would be to build throughout Vermont,” Kerr said.

Sigh.

I understand why they think Vermont is a promising market. We do, after all, consume mass quantities of frozen dairylike confections, and Vermont is the only state without an actual, name-brand Dairy Queen.

I don't think this is how they make Dairy Queen, but the recipe is a "trade secret," so I can't say for sure.

I don’t think this is how they make Dairy Queen, but the recipe is a “trade secret,” so I can’t say for sure.

What they can’t see from their Minneapolis headquarters is the fact that our state is chock full of independent joints that sell Creemees, many of substantially better quality than the corporate splooge on offer at DQ. It’s kind of like Mrs. Butterworth trying to open a “Maple” Flavored Syrup factory in Vermont.

Methinks DQ will find Vermont a tough row to hoe. Many of us are strongly attached to one or more of our local outlets. We all have our favorite spots. DQ will have to offer what they call a “unique value proposition” to gain a lasting foothold here.

I wish them luck… although not enough luck that they’d ever put a local vendor out of business.

Phil Scott Leadership Watch: Ducking Rubio (UPDATED)

Update: Most of what I wrote here is incorrect. I’ve been informed that Scott’s radio interview was taped in advance. He was, in fact, presiding over the Senate when the Rubio presser was held. My apologies for jumping to a conclusion. I’m keeping the original post intact because I don’t believe in erasing my mistakes. 

It still doesn’t explain why the Republicans held the presser at a time when Scott wasn’t available, and didn’t mention Scott’s name at all. Scott clearly intended for his endorsement of Marco Rubio to gain as little notice as possible. 

__________________________________

Earlier today, I wrote about Lt. Gov. Phil Scott’s arm’s-length, leave-no-fingerprints endorsement of Marco Rubio. You know, the one where he didn’t show up for a unified Republican press conference, at which nobody mentioned his name. The only indication of his endorsement was on a distributed list. He never even issued a statement about it.

Well, now we know where he was.

Yup. Paul Ralston’s vanity project, The Reluctant Pedant (I may have misremembered the title), airs at 1:00 Thursdays on WDEV. The Republican endorsement presser was at 1:00 Thursday in the Statehouse.

I gave Scott too much credit. I figured he was presiding over the Senate’s debate on marijuana legalization, a big issue on which he could have been called upon to cast a tie-breaking vote. But he was nowhere near the Senate. He was in Waterbury appearing on his “friend’s” radio show.

Now, maybe he considered that an unbreakable appointment. But the Republicans could have easily scheduled the presser for another hour, when he could have been on hand.

Nope, he was ducking. What a leader he is.

Repeating above update: Scott’s radio interview was taped earlier on Thursday. He was, in fact presiding over the Senate. Again, I apologize for my error. 

Profiles In Courage, the Phil Scott Way!

Apparently, Lt. Gov. Phil Scott endorsed Marco Rubio for President yesterday.

I say “apparently” because he didn’t appear at the big endorsement extravaganza put on by top Republicans yesterday at the Statehouse. Nor has he released a statement of any kind.

This is pretty damn shameful. The details from VTDigger:

At a Statehouse news conference, GOP legislators touted what they called Rubio’s values-based campaign. Afterward, Rep. Kurt Wright, R-Burlington, gave VTDigger a list of those backing Rubio, which included Lt. Gov. Phil Scott, 27 representatives and one senator.

Scott was not present or mentioned at the news conference. He could not be reached late Thursday afternoon for comment.

Holy Hiding In A Closet, Batman!

The strategery had an effect — and I have to infer it was the effect Scott wanted: very limited coverage. I assume that the Statehouse media corps were covering the Senate’s debate on marijuana legalization. As far as I can tell, VTDigger was the only media outlet to report on the endorsement.

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Planet Norm’s increasingly erratic orbit

Any time a reporter has a few minutes to spare and wants to buy the Vermont media equivalent of a lottery ticket, all they have to do is give once-and-maybe-future-Senator Norm McAllister a call. If he answers the phone, he’s almost certain to say something dumb or offensive or both.

This week’s winner was Terri Hallenbeck of Seven Days, who wrangled a juicy quote from Good Ol’ Norm, whose internal exile has, unsurprisingly, failed improve his perspective. In fact, he’s showing signs of outright conspiratorialism.

The context: Hallenbeck was previewing this week’s Senate vote on marijuana legalization. At the time, it was looking like a very close thing — maybe one vote either way. Which prompted Hallenbeck to observe that this was “the second of two recent legislative initiatives on which [McAllister] might have swayed the results.” (The other one was the paid sick leave bill.) That is, if he hadn’t been suspended in January because of those pesky sexual assault charges.

Take it away, Norm…

Reached at home in Highgate, McAllister said he would have voted against both measures. “I got an idea that’s probably why some people didn’t want me there.”

Yeah, solid thinking. It wasn’t the multiple felony charges or the pending trial or the embarrassment of having an accused felon in their midst. The Real Truth is that Norm McAllister was simply too dangerous and had to be silenced! 

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Debate Roster or Police Lineup: You Make The Call!

In advance of tonight’s Republican presidential debate, CNN is Tweeting out an unintentionally hilarious promo. The candidate pictures are downright forbidding — they look more like mugshots than anything else. See for yourself:

Yikes. Top row, from left to right: Mafia don, pedophile, real estate con man.

Bottom row: white-collar criminal, creepy stalker

I mean, really. Who chose these images?

Also, too, that Ted Cruz headshot reminds me of something. What is it, what is it…

… Oh yeah.

Blobfish

Giving the name “Deadpool” a whole new meaning

House Speaker Shap Smith did something unusual this week: he put out a strongly-worded position statement on an issue not currently before the Legislature. More on that in a moment, but first, feast your eyes on this all-kinds-of-wrong picture.

Family fun for everyone!

Family fun for everyone!

That, my friends, is how they’re storing radioactive water at Vermont Yankee, as reported last week by VTDigger’s Mike Faher. That pool, seemingly stretched to the bursting point, is an Intex “Easy Set” swimming pool, advertised as one of “the easiest family and friend-sized pools to set up in the world.”

Yikes.

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Gnats to Fart in Windstorm

Oh look, a bunch of Republican lawmakers are belatedly getting off the pot.

Vermont state Rep. Kurt Wright, R-Burlington, says approximately 30 Republican lawmakers will endorse Marco Rubio for president on Thursday.

… “He’s the last best chance,” Wright said. “I think the window’s beginning to close.”

Err, “beginning” to close? More like “coming down like a well-greased guillotine.”

Presumably, at least some of these 30 Bravehearts also attended the John Kasich Town Hall last Saturday. None endorsed him, although they were all very happy to be on hand. But I guess they realize that Foxy Grandpa’s window was never open, let alone “beginning to close.” It’ll be interesting to see how many top Republicans show up at the just-anounced Kasich Town Hall on Monday at Castleton University.

The Rubot also got the coveted (cough, choke) endorsement of former Lt. Gov. Brian Dubie, who praised Florida’s Usually Absentee Senator as a “strong conservative” with “bold conservative ideas.”

Yeah, that’ll move the needle. Look out, Trump: Brian Dubie is comin’ to get ya!

Also, gosh, I didn’t realize Dubie was such a fan of strong conservatism. I guess that Jim-Douglas-without-the-charm act he pulled in 2010 was just a load of horse hockey.

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For Bernie, the going only gets tougher

Bernie Sanders has gotten farther in this presidential race than anyone this side of Tad Devine ever believed. I am among the happy throng that has tried to glass-ceiling the Bernie Insurgency, only to see him smash right through. And I’m prepared to be wrong again, but I firmly believe what I’m about to write.

Bernie Sanders has reached his high point.

And I have the numbers to back that up.

Yes, he finished a strong second to Hillary Clinton in Nevada. Yes, he has one strong win and two narrow losses so far. But when I look at the upcoming primary calendar, I see a lot of bad news in Bernie’s future.

Let’s start with South Carolina, where Clinton has a decisive edge — and Bernie’s own campaign appears to be waving the white flag. They deny it, naturally; but his schedule argues otherwise. South Carolina Democrats vote on Saturday, but Sanders is spending almost the entire week in states that vote on Super Tuesday and beyond.

When asked about his Palmetto prospects, Bernie put on a happy face.

“We came to South Carolina, and, if you look at the polls, we were at 7, 8, 9 percent in the polls. We were 50, 60, 70 points behind. We have waged a very vigorous campaign. We have closed the gap very significantly,” he said.

He said the same thing after losing in Nevada. And it’s true; but it sounds a lot like Marco Rubio claiming victory after the latest loss. At some point, you have to start winning.

Beyond South Carolina, you look at the upcoming contests, and the odds against Bernie become crystal clear. (Like a glass ceiling, heh.)

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A trip down Memory Lane (and a turn into Nightmare Alley)

Hey, remember when Donald Trump held a rally at the Flynn Center? And the Vermont Republican Party took pains to distance itself?

Just to refresh your memory, here’s the statement released before the Trump event by VTGOP Executive Directory Jeff Bartley:

We learned late today through media reports that Donald Trump will be making a brief campaign stop in Vermont The Vermont Republican Party did not invite Mr. Trump and has no role in his event. Like all presidential candidates, he is welcome to share his thoughts with Vermonters. We hope all candidates will articulate, in a responsible and respectful Vermont way, their ideas for helping to make our state and or nation more affordable and prosperous for working class families. And we look forward to the outcome of the primary campaign between our very diverse group of candidates.

I thought it’d be timely to revisit those words, now that The Donald shattered his “glass ceiling” in Nevada with 46 percent of the caucus vote. With each passing day, he looks more and more like the irresistible force, while the other candidates are decidedly movable objects.

Meanwhile, the obvious choice of Vermont Republicans, John Kasich, “won” 3.6 percent of the Nevada vote. Even before the results came in, he was the subject of a juicy headline Monday morning at Politico:

GOP to Kasich: Get out

A string of elected officials, GOP insiders and prominent donors officially threw their support behind Rubio on Monday, calling him their last chance to take down Donald Trump. Their statements had another common theme. Some explicitly called for Kasich to quit, while others sent the same message by saying the Ohio governor’s ongoing presence is holding Rubio back.

The story is especially poignant in these circles, since it came only two days after Vermont Republicans couldn’t stop grinning while they shared a stage with Kasich.

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A warning shot across Keurig’s unrecyclable bow

Here’s an interesting tidbit from across the pond. Citing environmental concerns, the city of Hamburg, Germany has banned Keurig-style coffee pods from all government office buildings.

Lest you think, “Oh, isn’t that cute?” bear in mind that Hamburg has a population of 1.7 million people. It’s the second biggest city in Germany, and the eighth largest in the European Union.

As part of a guide to green procurement, the German city of Hamburg last month introduced a ban on buying “certain polluting products or product components” with council money. The ban includes specific terms for “equipment for hot drinks in which portion packaging is used” – specifically singling out the “Kaffeekapselmaschine”, or coffee capsule machine, which accounts for one in eight coffees sold in Germany.

“These portion packs cause unnecessary resource consumption and waste generation, and often contain polluting aluminum,” the report says.

This isn’t a Big Deal, not yet; but it is a Deal, and it ought to be causing a bit of concern at Keurig Green Mountain’s Waterbury headquarters. Because if Hamburg becomes a trendsetter, Keurig could start seeing large markets snap shut.

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