Tag Archives: Burlington Free Press

They’ll have to pry my Creemee from my cold dead fingers

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Warning! Perimeter alert! Corporate invaders at three o’clock!

Dairy Queen is returning to Vermont.

… “We’d love to see [a franchisee] commit during 2016 and have an opportunity to open the first store in 2016 or early 2017,” [DQ VP Jim] Kerr said. “I think we have a pretty good chance.”

Kerr believes Burlington could support as many as five Dairy Queens, and that there are 15 to 20 potential locations in Vermont as a whole.

“Our goal would be to build throughout Vermont,” Kerr said.

Sigh.

I understand why they think Vermont is a promising market. We do, after all, consume mass quantities of frozen dairylike confections, and Vermont is the only state without an actual, name-brand Dairy Queen.

I don't think this is how they make Dairy Queen, but the recipe is a "trade secret," so I can't say for sure.

I don’t think this is how they make Dairy Queen, but the recipe is a “trade secret,” so I can’t say for sure.

What they can’t see from their Minneapolis headquarters is the fact that our state is chock full of independent joints that sell Creemees, many of substantially better quality than the corporate splooge on offer at DQ. It’s kind of like Mrs. Butterworth trying to open a “Maple” Flavored Syrup factory in Vermont.

Methinks DQ will find Vermont a tough row to hoe. Many of us are strongly attached to one or more of our local outlets. We all have our favorite spots. DQ will have to offer what they call a “unique value proposition” to gain a lasting foothold here.

I wish them luck… although not enough luck that they’d ever put a local vendor out of business.

One more thing about the “adult in the room”

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After his Town Hall meeting in Colchester, Ohio Gov. John Kasich gave a few minutes to the assembled media. A helpful portion thereof was posted online by the Burlington Free Press. Helpful, because it’s one more piece of evidence that Kasich’s “reasonable” “moderate” act is just so much Foxy Grandpa malarkey.

He was asked about whether President Obama should, you know, do his Constitutional duty by nominating someone to replace the late Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court. And Kasich’s answer was a disasterpiece of Republican passive-aggressiveness.

He blamed it all on, you guessed it, Obama.

We’ve had a situation in Washington where nobody’s going to get confirmed. You know, the President passed Obamacare, he rammed through stuff with his executive actions, and it’s just polarized everybody.

So, look, he’s going to send somebody, they’re not going to be confirmed. And what I like is the idea that the American public’s going to have a two-fer. And what do I mean by that?

We’re going to elect a president, and we’re going to determine the direction of the Court by the presidential election. And I think that could serve as a sort of a healing in our country without all these fights goin’ back and forth.

Yeah, that’s the ticket. If Obama hadn’t been such a hardass, ramming stuff down America’s throat for seven years, then we could let him appoint someone to the Supreme Court. As it is, he shouldn’t do it because it will further divide the country. In fact, for the good of the nation, he should voluntarily give up one of his presidential powers.

Yuh-huh. The Republicans and the conservative media, according to John Kasich, have absolutely nothing to do with the polarization of our politics. It’s all Obama’s fault!

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Foxy Grandpa snookers the rubes

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The relief on their faces was palpable. “Finally,” they were obviously thinking, “a presidential candidate who’s not a complete bozo!”

The cream of Vermont’s Republican crop was on hand — and visibly on stage — for yeseterday’s Town Hall meeting for Ohio Gov. John Kasich. There’s a wonderful photo by the Burlington Free Press’ April Burbank, showing a handful of top Republicans gazing toward Kasich with the sort of giddiness usually seen on the face of a kid with cancer who’s meeting a star athlete through Make-A-Wish.

Can’t say I blame ‘em. The prospect of running on a ticket with the likes of Donald J. Trump or Ted X. Cruz has to give people like Phil Scott the heebie-jeebies. Kasich, unlike the rest of the Republican Clown Car, offers the image of a reasonable, moderate conservative willing to work with all parties and feeling genuine concern for society’s poor and unfortunate. Couple of problems, though.

First, they’re jumping onto a leaky lifeboat. On the very day of his triumphal visit to Vermont, Kasich was getting his butt handed to him in the South Carolina primary, coming in fifth place behind a guy who “suspended” his campaign as soon as the results were posted, and barely ahead of Dr. Sleepytime, Ben Carson.

How did Kasich characterize his own campaign?

Ohio Gov. John Kasich probably could have used a better phrase for his plan to consolidate establishment voters than “we’re going to keep struggling” in an appearance on Sunday’s “Face the Nation.”

So the VTGOP came out strong for a candidate who’s hanging on by his fingernails, hoping against hope that a first-place finish in Vermont or Massachusetts and maybe second in Michigan will keep his campaign out of the ICU for another week or so.

Second, there’s the Inconvenient Truth about Kasich’s actual record, as previously chronicled in this space. He is not a moderate; he is not, when the rubber hits the road, compassionate. He is one of a number of Republican governors who have advanced the ALEC/Koch Brothers agenda as often and as hard as they can.

And there’s no reason to believe that President John Kasich would be any different. Quite the opposite: his record suggests his current persona is a sham, a Foxy Grandpa act designed to snooker gullible centrists yearning for a candidate who’s not a complete embarrassment.

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The easiest political question of the day

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Huh. Aki Soga has a new job title.

The former editorial writer for the Burington Free Press, and pretty much the Last Man Standing after a series of newsroom purges, is apparently now the Free Press Reader Engagement Editor.

Hock. Choke. Cough. [drinks glass of water]

Sorry, I always puke in my mouth a little when I see one of these new-agey media job titles.

Anyway, Mr. Soga posted a piece this afternoon, posing the musical question…

Is Vermont John Kasich’s Super Tuesday firewall? 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA No.

I suppose I should explain a bit.

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Gannett is determined to wring every last goddamned nickel out of its dying business model

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There are times when I wonder if the Burlington Free Press and its corporate overlord have flipped their mission statement. Times when it seems like they’re trying to KILL the newspaper business by driving away their customer base.

The latest time came recently, when I received a postcard from Barbara Smith, VP of Customer Obstruction Service, notifying me of A New Enhancement to My Gannett Experience.

Oh Lord, I thought. What fresh hell is this?

Two things. First, the Freeploid is launching “an exclusive, special Sunday premium section on popular local topics four times a year.” Yeah, I’ll bet they’re on advertiser-friendly subjects like Food, Tourism, Skiing, Buy Local, and stuff like that. I doubt there will be any additional journalism on offer.

The bad news? “The subscription rate will be an additional $1 for each of these exclusive, special Sunday premium sections.”

Yaaaay! I’ll be paying extra for ad-friendly “content” just like I’m currently paying for recycled USA TODAY “content” in every freakin’ paper.

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Our favorite Taxation Imp strikes again

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As is customary on Thursdays, yesterday’s edition of the Burlington Free Press* once again was graced by the comedy stylings of Art Woolf, Vermont’s Loudest Economist. This time, Art was letting us know just how difficult it is to be rich.

*Newsstand price now a DOLLAR-FIFTY!!! for a few pages of wire copy and recycled USA TODAY “content.” I’d like to see Professor Woolf’s cost/benefit analysis of that little bargain.

No, seriously. The One Percent have it rough. Here’s how it starts.

Rich get richer, pay more taxes

In 2014, the state collected $650 million in income taxes from Vermonters. High income Vermonters continue to pay a very large share of that.

Well yeah, because they make most of the money.

He goes on to break down tax collections by income bracket in a way that emphasizes just how much we peasants are benefiting from the forced largesse of Our Betters. Which, if you consider state income tax in isolation, is true; the more money you make, the more taxes you pay.

But when you consider the entire burden of state and local taxes, you flip the script. Here’s a handy chart from the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy (ITEP), showing Vermont’s total tax burden.

ITEP chart

That’s right. In Vermont, the rich get off easy and the middle class takes it in the shorts.

See, our income tax is reasonably progressive, but our other primary taxes are not. Sales taxes are strongly regressive, hitting the poorest people hardest. Property taxes slam the middle classes. Add ‘em all up, and that chart is what you get.

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The second dumbest political statement of the year (so far)

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Nice try, Governor Shumlin, but you didn’t quite manage to equal State Sen. Dick McCormack’s comparison of Norm McAllister to Jesus and Socrates. But it’s not for lack of effort.

Speaking about the Legislature’s whirlwind effort to lift or repeal spending limits for school districts, the Governor actually said this (according to the Free Press):

“We have no time,” Shumlin said last week. “We don’t have time to debate whether we can find the smartest way to do this for this year.”

Yeah, that’s the ticket. Stop thinking and pass something!

I’m reminded of a famous saying. Something about fast, cheap and good.

Today’s Free Press front page is just perfect

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The Burlington Free Press’ descent into whoredom continues apace. Today’s front page encapsulates every worrying trend in the devolution of a once-adequate newspaper — sorry, “media property.”

The front page, for those not close enough to a library or convenience store to give it an eyeball, features Don Sinex, owner of the Burlington Town Center Mall. Sinex is seeking city approval for a complete makeover of the mall, including two 14-story towers that would be the tallest human-made buildings in the city. Sinex is certainly newsworthy; it’s the layout, and all the surrounding circumstances, that illustrate the shortcomings of the Queen City’s Newsroom Of The Future.

For starters, there’s the fact that the Free Press has been giving this story constant, breathless coverage for quite a while now — interrupted only by its ardent pursuit of Trump-related clickbait. I understand that this is a major story regarding the development of downtown Burlington, and I don’t mind quantity coverage with some balance to it. This, however, is giving over the paper’s most valuable real estate to Sinex.

And if you don’t think this was a pro-Sinex puff piece, just look at the headline:

Last Best Plan for Burlington Mall

If that isn’t an editorial, I don’t know what is. The paper could have said “Developer Touts Last Best Plan” or something like that, but no. This Is “The Last Best Plan.”

Subtle.

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Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump

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The marketplace has spoken. WordPress statistics clearly show that Donald Trump is a Proven Clickbait Solution. So in lieu of my usual (cough) trenchant analysis of the issues that matter, we bring you Random Notes On Donald Day.

Because if Vermont’s largest newspaper can succumb to clickbait mania, why not theVPO?

Screen Shot 2016-01-07 at 1.08.55 PM

Ah, journalism in action. And speaking of food, the Kountry Kart Deli is offering a today-only special: The Donald, a stacked-high bologna sandwich with B.S. (bacon slices) on white bread. Perfect. Meanwhile, North End stalwart Nunyuns Bakery was stymied in its effort to cash in:

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More @Trumpnado madness after the break.

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Vermont’s Largest Newspaper just can’t take it

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You may recall my recent remarks on our thinnest-skinned institution — the fourth estate.

When I criticize the failings or shortcomings of Vermont’s media, they often react with a pained squeal. There’s only one person who’s blocked me from their Twitter feed, and it’s a staffer at a certain Vermont newspaper.

I think it’s now fair to reveal the name of said newspaper. Because the Burlington Free Press itself — the whole shebang — has blocked me from its Twitter feed.

Screen Shot 2016-01-07 at 12.15.45 PM

Profiles in Courage, friends.

My words are just too much for the tender sensibilities of a once-great newspaper. Well, once-adequate, anyway.

While they’re at it, maybe they’d like to cancel my subscription so I can no longer consume their product (and potentially criticize it). And I say “consume their product” because “read their journalism” is such a 20th Century concept.

And yes, I am a paid subscriber. Although if my Tweets are so unbearable, perhaps my money is too tainted to accept.

It’s pathetic. The Burlington Free Press is a coward.