Tag Archives: Burlington Free Press

We’re all stars now in the dope show

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The January 7 episode of “Trump: The Campaign” in Burlington “has stirred turmoil among Vermonters,” or so the Burlington Free Press informs me.

Well, lemme do a quick check… no… nope… sorry, no turmoil here. Annoyance is all I got.

Annoyance at the idea of Trump as a successful candidate, and annoyance that some of us are auditioning for bit parts in Trump’s ongoing performance piece.

Look, why do you suppose he’s coming here? It’s not for votes. I’m sure he’ll frame it as evidence of his bravery — bringing his truthiness to Ground Zero of Bernie Sanders socialism. And if he gets some nice juicy conflict with some stereotypical dirty hippies, then so much the better.

You think he won’t enjoy the spectacle of anti-Trump demonstrations in City Hall Park? You think he won’t be happier than a pig in shit if protesters get into the hall and try to disrupt the proceedings? You think Fox News won’t lovingly repeat the footage for hours in end?

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Much Ado About Meatballs

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Very curious event took place yesterday. A business announced it was locating in Vermont, and nobody from the Shumlin administration was on hand.

Phil Scott was.

His buddy and nominal Democrat Dick Mazza was.

House Republican leader Don Turner was.

Hmmm.

Good Ol' Phil, pleased with himself. Screenshot from Seven Days.

Good Ol’ Phil, pleased with himself. Screengrab from Seven Days.

The event was Bove’s announcement that it will locate a sauce plant in Milton. According to the Burlington Free Press, Bove’s currently makes its sauce in Youngstown, Ohio, God knows why, and its meatballs and lasagna in Shelburne.

Yum, long-distance interstate food, just like Grandma used to make. Well, it’s all coming home to Milton.

As for why two Republicans and a go-ahead-admit-it-you’re-a-Republican were the invited guests, company owner Mark Bove offered some cagey remarks.

Bove was flanked by several legislators, including Phil Scott, the Republican lieutenant governor; Sen. Dick Mazza, D-Grand Isle, and Rep. Don Turner, R-Milton. The restaurateur said each helped Bove’s find its way back to Vermont.

“I just couldn’t get back to Vermont, as much as I tried,” Bove said of previous efforts.

Well, okay then.

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Another political scofflaw

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Even as Garrett Graff maintains radio silence about his possibly illegal candidacy for Lieutenant Governor, another political hopeful has run afoul of Vermont election law.

Don’t get your knickers in a twist; it’s only Brooke Paige.

Yes, the best-dressed man in Vermont politics has a problem with his 2016 plans. The Burlington Free Press, November 30:

Brooke Paige of Washington has also said he plans to run in the Democratic primary for governor and attorney general, as well as seeking the attorney general nomination on the Republican side.

Vermont state law:

A person’s name shall not be listed as a candidate on the primary ballot of more than one party in the same election.

Oopsie.

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Welp, I guess we know who the Free Press is backing for governor

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bfp/PhilFor no particular reason, the Burlington Free Press chose to give over its November 28 front page to the smiling mug of Lt. Gov. Phil Scott.

News hook? Well, it was Small Business Saturday, the traditional bleat of locality that follows the irresistible onrush of Black Friday. The Freeploid could have marked the occasion by profiling some local gift creators or counting down its Top Ten Vermont Gift Ideas or some such retail puffery. Instead, it provided some invaluable servicing to Scott.

The pretext? Well, he’s got these faux-tiedyed stickers urging folks to “Buy Local — It’s Not Just for Hippies Anymore.”

Stickers he’s been giving out for YEARS. Stickers that are not, in any way, fresh or new or newsworthy. Stickers that emit a faint undertone of contempt for alternative lifestyles.

Besides, when the hell was “Buy Local” only for hippies?

Vermont Teddy Bear. Lake Champlain Chocolates. Beer, beer, beer, beer, cider, beer. Cheese. Hundreds, if not thousands, of artists, artisans and craftspeople. (Never mind; they’re all hippies.) Farm-Way. King Arthur Flour. The Vermont Country Store. Food products from Vermont farmers, the very bedrock of our imagined self — and of the Republican Party, come to think of it.

I’ll stop arguing with Phil Scott’s stickers and get back to the main point: the Free Press is in the tank for Phil.

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Jake Burton’s First Amendment bullshit

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Today’s Burlington Free Press brings news of a returning product line at Burton Snowboards: a series of snowboards featuring Playboy bunnies. They tried this once before, and suffered an intense barrage of criticism for exploiting women’s bodies.

Somehow, Burton was shocked by that. I guess he was too deeply immersed in snow-bro culture to realize that much of the world has moved beyond the objectification of women.

And still is, since he’s bringing back the Bunny boards. But he’s ready for the critics:

“Since Burton was founded nearly 40 years ago, we’ve supported freedom of artistic expression. Board graphics are artwork, and we understand that art can be offensive to some and inspiring to others. I strongly back our latest snowboard collection with Playboy and was involved in the project from the beginning.”

How noble. How high-minded.

What a pile of horse hockey.

Look, I don’t mind if Burton wants to plaster naked Bunnies on snowboards. I think it’s tasteless, but I’m not in their target demographic.

I do mind the utter bullshit about artistic expression.

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Woolf’s Duplicitous Delicatessen

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Our Motto: “Where There’s Always a Thumb on the Scale”

It’s been a while since I chronicled the dishonest commentary of Art Woolf, a.k.a. Vermont’s Loudest Economist. Every Thursday, he blesses us with a few hundred words of pro-business bumpf salted with carefully chosen figures designed to conceal the flaws in his reasoning.

Heck, I could easily write a riposte every week, but that gets old after a while.

However, the two most recent entries in the Woolf oeuvre merit scrutiny, because they touch on significant public policy debates: taxes and health care reform.

His November 5 missive revisits one of his favorite themes: Vermont’s taxes are too damn high. Well, he doesn’t say so exactly; but he presents an array of misleading statistics to bolster that popular conservative argument.

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Mayberry follies

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Nice long story in yesterday’s Burlington Free Press on the Colchester Police Department, one year after the shocking arrest of veteran officer Tyler Kinney, who was allegedly stealing drugs, guns and money from the evidence room he was responsible for. Reporter Elizabeth Murray chronicled the struggles of Chief Jennifer Morrison in bringing the department’s policies and procedures up to date.

Nice, so far as it went. But there was one person completely absent from the story who should have played a substantial role.

Chuck Kirker.

For those just joining us, Kirker had served in the Colchester Police Department for 43 years, and had been Chief for 34 years when he retired in 2013. And, to judge by the Kinney case and yesterday’s Free Press piece, he was doing a terrible job.

The Colchester Police Department (not exactly as illustrated)

Chief Kirker and company (not exactly as illustrated)

During his tenure on the force, the CPD grew from four staffers to 28. But apparently he was still running the place like Andy of Mayberry. Many departmental policies, Murray reports, “hadn’t been updated in 20 years or more.” Morrison has led the department through “multiple rounds of training and leadership development.” Evidence storage has been completely overhauled, with security cameras, a bar-coding system, tamper-proof evidence bags, and a double-locking system that doesn’t allow anyone to have solo access to the room. And:

Personnel evaluations also have become more regular, and employees have been allowed to give feedback on the evaluation process to refine the system. Before Kinney’s arrest, no one had received an evaluation in 20 years.

Yikes: no personnel evaluations for 20 years? That helps explain how Tyler Kinney could have kept control of the CPD’s evidence storage for several years before his gross malfeasance was brought to light.

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Adventures in keeping the peace

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The Burlington Police Department was well-represented at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally last Thursday. Plenty of cops on hand, just in case things got cray-cray.

Or, in case two people threatened the peace by wearing masks in public.

A video posted on the Free Press’ website shows two young men with Guy Fawkes masks, standing in the crowd, doing absolutely nothing. They are then approached by uniformed officers; an inaudible conversation ensues, after which the two are separated from the crowd and taken into custody.

Their offense: refusing to take off the masks.

Oh, really.

At least the two weren’t charged with a crime. Because THERE WASN’T ONE.

But refusing to unmask is an offense that warrants confrontation, questioning and handcuffing?

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The unbelievably coincident gas price roller coaster

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This morning’s Burlington Free Press reports a development in the courts: attorneys for Chittenden County gas wholesalers have filed a motion to dismiss a lawsuit alleging price-fixing in the market, which is dominated by a handful of outfits. Former US Attorney Tris Coffin, having traded in his white hat for a shiny black Downs Rachlin Martin number, is now spearheading the gas cartel’s defense.

Sorry, make that “the alleged gas cartel.”

This news brought to mind the latest pair of coincidences in the long and suspicious history of gas prices in the Burlington area. This past July, when the suit was freshly filed, I noted a rare happenstance: gas was actually cheaper in Burlington than in Montpelier by as much as 15 cents per gallon. This reversed the usual state of affairs, in which Burlington-area stations routinely offer some of the highest prices in the state.

At the time, I connected the obvious dots: bad publicity triggers a temporary drop in prices at the pump. Or as I put it:

For years, Bernie Sanders has been alleging price fixing by the four companies that own most of Chittenden County’s gas stations. The companies have consistently denied any collusion — although, it must be noted, they usually bring down their prices for a while after Bernie kicks up a fuss. And then quietly goose them back up once the heat’s off.

Well, it’s happened again. The suit’s been out of the headlines for a few months, and whaddya know, the vast majority of Burlington-area gas stations are charging 10-15 cents more per gallon than their Montpelier counterparts.

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The Newsroom of the Future’s First Fruits

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Now that the Olds have been almost entirely swept out of the Burlington Free Press, we’re getting our first sign of its future direction. And it ain’t encouraging.

It’s a twice-yearly, glossy magazine aiming to provide “everything you need to know about Vermont’s many ski resorts.” And the name of said publication, according to Publisher/Ventriloquist Al Getler:

“A group of FreePressMedia employees, from millennials to baby boomers, sat around and said, ‘What is this thing going to be?'” he said. “The name came from one of our millennial staff members who yelled out, ‘Freshies!'”

Duuuuuude!

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