Sometimes when you’re a political appointee, you have to say stuff in public that you’ve been told to say. I’d like to think that’s what Tax Commissioner Craig Bolio was doing on Friday when he had the stones to approach the House Ways & Means Committee with a scheme that should never have seen the light of day.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, Bolio was sent by his superiors to propose a painfully belated, half-baked plan (to call it a “plan” is being generous) that amounted to what Ways & Means chair Rep. Emilie Kornheiser later called a “payday loan.” Without the benefit of the doubt, I’d have to conclude that Bolio is unfit to hold a fiscally responsible position.

The idea, in short, was to reduce this year’s high property tax increases by deferring expenses over the next several years. Hey, let’s put our public schools on the layaway plan! What could possibly go wrong?

I wonder how Gov. Phil Scott would react if a Democratic or Progressive legislator made such a suggestion. Somewhere between “conniption” and “aneurysm,” I’m guessing.

Even worse, the plan was barely a sketch, a preliminary draft lacking key details like how much would we borrow, for how long, where the money would come from, how we’d decide which districts would defer which costs, and how in Hell we would avoid a chain collision of fiscal irresponsibility somewhere down the road.

The committee was far more polite than I would have been. They listened, they asked reasonable questions in measured tones of voice, they never once broke out in bitter laughter — although Kornheiser’s face was often twisted into nonverbal expressions of incredulity, like so:

Don’t ask me who’s in charge of placing giant water bottles directly in front of the cameras but whoever it is, they’re doing a heck of a job.

Aside from the craziness of the concept and the complete lack of detail, the plan was also presented to Ways & Means at an extremely late date. Bolio delivered a brief memo outlining the plan on Friday morning, shortly before his testimony. The committee had been scheduled to vote on a school-funding reform bill that very day; after Bolio’s appearance, they decided to give him until Monday to flesh out his bare-bones idea. Kornheiser also expressed a desire to hear from state Treasurer Mike Pieciak about what borrowing mass quantities of money to pay for ongoing expenses, a mortal sin where public finances are concerned, might do to the state’s precious credit rating. I mean, Pieciak and his predecessor Beth Pearce have spurned proposals for a sorely-needed housing bond that would generate huge economic benefits and more than pay for itself because it might make the credit agencies nervous.

Indeed, when Pieciak weighed in on Monday, he delivered a death blow to the Bolio plan. Pieciak told Ways & Means that there were “fundamental issues” with the plan that would create “structural imbalance” in Vermont’s finances. And it might wreak havoc on Vermont’s credit rating.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?

The late delivery Bolio explained as a response to a draft version of Ways & Means’ bill, circulated early last week. That bill wouldn’t do much of anything to lessen this year’s property tax increases; instead it would enact reforms for FY2027. Bolio said the administration prioritizes lowering the impact right away, and wanted to offer some way of doing so.

Hence, the payday loan.

When asked if he had any other suggestions for immediately lowering school costs, his only suggestion was imposing a means test on universal school meals so they would only be free for students from low- and moderate-income families.

Okay, two problems. First of all, the total cost of universal meals is about $30 million a year. Let’s say, generously, that a means test might lower that bill by a third. I doubt it’s that much, but let’s just say. That means $10 million — spread among the roughly 100 school districts in Vermont. That’s, um, about $100,000 per school district. Barely a dent in their budgets.

Second, there are sound policy reasons for making free meals available to all students. You remove any sense of stigma caused by separating the haves and the have-nots. The separation has well-established effects on performance and behavior issues. It would be a tiny cost saving with sizeable negative impacts.

But the school meals thing was all that Bolio had to offer. And do you know why? Because while this year’s property tax increases have been unpopular in many communities, our public schools remain incredibly popular. Taxpayers have been willing to pay high prices to keep their schools as strong as possible. Team Scott is smart enough to know that proposing any kind of major cuts would be political suicide.

Hence this sketch of an idea for a proposal to put our public schools on a credit card. Ridiculous. Absurd.

Cockamamie.