Now that the August primary is safely in the rear-view, the rest of the November ballot is rounding into shape. Actual winners earned their spots on August 11; now we’re seeing a parade of no-hopers, never-wases and cranks making their way onto the ballot through processes that have nothing to do with, you know, actual appeal to the electorate.

The usual suspects are being joined by a new crop of “candidates” who are not worth a moment of your time. Hopefully they don’t clutter up the debate stage, although I’m sure some of them will.

(And please don’t @ me about accessibility and openness and such. There is no constitutional right to a spot on the ballot or a lectern at candidate forums. Any debate that’s all-inclusive is a waste of everybody’s time. It only takes away from a viewer’s ability to learn pertinent information about people who might actually be elected because the fringies Must Get Their Share Of The Attention.)

Like, for instance, “Not That” Zachary Hampl, who weaseled his way to the Progressive nomination for treasurer despite the party’s refusal to endorse him. (He has a track record of conservative activism covering his entire and brief adulthood.) Credit for his “victory” goes to the Progs’ complete inattention to their own primary, since they didn’t bother to nominate an alternative and turnout was as dismal as usual; Hampl won with the distressing total of 289 votes.

In the entire state.

But it was enough, because only 474 people bothered to vote in the Progressive primary. In the entire state. Kinda makes you wonder if the Progs should be doing a bit more to earn their “major party” status.

And now they’re stuck with an embarrassment on their statewide ticket. I never thought I’d write these words, but the Progressive Party needs an H. Brooke Paige, someone who can occupy primary ballot slots and prevent an interloper from winning.

VTDigger’s story about Hampl does a decent, but not quite comprehensive, job of recapping his political past:

As a student at Castleton University, he founded a chapter of Young Americans for Liberty, a prominent nationwide organization supporting libertarian causes on college campuses, including free speech and gun rights. 

Not mentioned by Digger: Hampl’s election to the VTGOP’s state committee in 2019. Seems worthy of note.

Hampl professes to have experienced a Damascus Road moment during the COVID pandemic, when he was an EMT and saw many people suffering due to lack of access to health care. Now, he says, he believes that housing and health care should be considered human rights.

Well, that sounds progressive enough. But wait, there’s more! Hampl retains his libertarian view of government as the enemy of liberty. How exactly he would implement his expansive view of human rights without government intervention I don’t know. The Digger article offers no explanation, and I’m not likely to spend a single additional second thinking about Mr.Hampl between now and Election Day. He’s not worth the time. There are far more pressing matters to explore in the two-plus months remaining before the votes are counted.

Here’s another name making its first, and likely last, 2026 appearance in this space: Brian Judd, self-proclaimed independent candidate for governor. Judging by his past, he’s likely somewhere to the right of incumbent Phil Scott. Probably far, far to the right.

Judd’s last appearance in this space was five years ago, when he ran as a Republican for Barre City Council and got his ass whupped by now-state Rep. Teddy Waszasak. Judd’s response was to sue the city for unspecified election irregularities. (My post on the suit was illustrated by his January 2021 Tweet urging Donald Trump to fight his 2020 election defeat.) I haven’t checked court records, but I assume his only reward was a judge’s horselaugh since there’s no trace of his later installation to Council.

So yeah, this is a guy who couldn’t get elected in his own home town, and now he’s running for governor? Let’s hope none of our media organizations see him as a fit occupant on the debate stage. Although I’d get a chuckle out of Gov. Scott facing attacks from his right.

There are a couple other names on the gubernatorial ballot, neither worth your attention. A Stowe teenager named Dean Roy is running as an independent, and June Goodband has apparently taken up the Diamondstone mantle. If any debate-hosting media org surrounds Republican Scott and Democrat Amanda Janoo with a bunch of these people, it is doing a disservice to its audience and the voters in general. Set a standard, as the national media have done when the presidential primaries have ballooned. Give us a debate among those who might actually become governor, and leave the clowns out of it.