Hey, remember this entry in our fall series on stealth conservatives? This is Allison Duquette, unsuccessful candidate for House in the Chittenden-25 district. She lost by almost ten percentage points to Democrat Julia Andrews in a district that had been represented by the very conservative Bob Bancroft.

Duquette managed to out-conservative her district by, among other things, arguing that: The reproductive rights amendment, Article 22, would create a dystopia in which the state could decide a fetus should be aborted if it had significant health problems and we should do nothing about climate change because “Vermont has some of the cleanest air in the country.” She also refused to say who won the 2020 presidential election and floated conspiracy theories about What Really Happened On January 6.

Well, now Duquette is running for a seat on the Milton Town School Board. And you’ll never guess what she’s all het up about.

Yep, critical race theory.

Duquette is part of a group that’s been circulating petitions in the district urging the school board to end all efforts at equity education. She’s also a leader of Vermont Parents Against Critical Race Theory (VPACT), which has a very basic website almost bereft of content. But it does include the group’s endorsement of Duquette for school board.

Duquette elaborated on her CRT derangement in a recent appearance on WVMT Radio’s “The Morning Drive,” which provided a friendly, unquestioning platform for her and fellow VPACTer Scott O’Brien. That “unquestioning” part is extra noteworthy because not only were Duquette and O’Brien airing some truly bizarre laundry, but they also had a lot of trouble making their case.

They began by complaining, not about the merits of CRT, but about the allegedly unbearable cost. “This policy is going to lead to things such as the school is hiring a dental hygienist,” Duquette explained.

Dental hygienist? Horrors! How dare the Milton schools care about their students’ dental health when many families can’t afford basic care?

Well, according to Duquette, the problem is that hiring a dental hygienist “takes the parenting away from parents and puts it on the schools.”

That’s right. If your parents decide not to send you to the dentist, the schools have no right to interfere by fixing your teeth.

But wait! Duquette was asked if the district’s equity policy actually mandated dental hygiene. “A dental hygienist isn’t specifically spelled out in the policy, but it’s all part of equity,” she replied.

Oh, I see. She’s just makin’ stuff up.

O’Brien allowed as to how “The amount of money going into different parts of this policy, I think, would stun a lot of people.” Well, sir, if that’s the case, why can’t you come up with a bigger and more compelling example of wasteful spending than a damn dental hygienist?

Which, again, the equity policy doesn’t mention.

Duquette asserted that the policy gives the district superintendent near-dictatorial powers over curricula, instructional plans, and classroom speech. This includes, Duquette said, intolerance, hate speech, Holocaust denial, election-related conspiracy theories or speech that is intended to disrupt the educational process.

This all, according to Duquette, amounts to massive violations of the First Amendment. Which, do I have to add, doesn’t cover what teachers teach or what students are allowed to say in class. As usual, right-wing extremists have no idea what the First Amendment actually says. Maybe they need to go back to school.

Really, the foundation of their viewpoint is nothing more complicated than MAGA. They look back fondly on the Good Old Days when people could be intolerant and white supremacist and homophobic and misogynist and we didn’t have to worry about the schools employing a dental hygienist!!!

In short, if you want to get back to the days of readin’, writin’, ‘rithmetic and racism, then vote for Allison Duquette. You’ll get exactly what you deserve.