Ah, clickbait, thy name is Burlington Free Press. Today’s headline:

Accused Shelburne meat marauders cited

Wow. The mind reels. Was this a vicious gang, going around marauding meat? (Whatever that means.) Or were they an even more vicious gang, turning people into meat?

WIth breathelss anticipation, I clicked the link.

What a letdown.

Two people tried to steal $333 worth of meat from a supermarket.

Yep, that’s it.

Not only was the crime unworthy of the “marauder” monicker — they got caught!

“Marauders,” ny Aunt Fanny.