Tag Archives: Fun With Headlines

The art of the overblown headline

Ah, clickbait, thy name is Burlington Free Press. Today’s headline:

Accused Shelburne meat marauders cited

Wow. The mind reels. Was this a vicious gang, going around marauding meat? (Whatever that means.) Or were they an even more vicious gang, turning people into meat?

WIth breathelss anticipation, I clicked the link.

What a letdown.

Two people tried to steal $333 worth of meat from a supermarket.

Yep, that’s it.

Not only was the crime unworthy of the “marauder” monicker — they got caught!

“Marauders,” ny Aunt Fanny.

Freeploid headline writer places thumb discreetly, yet firmly, on the scale

Same story, different headlines. Associated Press workhorse Dave Gram filed a post-primary story on the outlook for the November elections. His unsurprising thesis: the incumbents have a hefty advantage. Hard to argue, that; but the story’s a useful space-filler for holiday weekend editions of Vermont newspapers. 

And so the Mitchell Family Organ (North) and the Freeploid both published Gram’s story on Sunday. The MFO(N)’s headline: 

Incumbents favored in Vermont midterm elections

And at the Freeploid? 

Milne promises a fight as incumbents are favored

The Burlington Free Press: Official Turd-Polisher to the VTGOP.