Our Beloved Governor^TM seems intent on torpedoing his own reputation as a “Nice Guy,” or maybe he’s giving it a thorough stress test to prove that it’s completely unsinkable. He has issued a statement in response to Education Secretary Zoie Saunders’ latest misadventure that simply oozes smugness and the kind of bland reassurance that could only come from a man in an unassailable position of privilege.

In a few short paragraphs, Scott casts himself as The Wisest Man in Vermont, remaining calm when all about him are unreasonably aflutter over Donald Trump’s assault on democracy and the federal government. And he paints Saunders as the victim of “some activists” who fomented “fear and anxiety throughout our education system.”

Yeah, that’s right, it’s not Saunders, who caused this whole ruckus by ordering all superintendents to attest that their policies and curricula were compliant with Trump administration orders — on Friday night, the worst possible time to distribute guidance on a touchy issue — and then barfed all over her shoes trying to walk it back. No, it wasn’t her fault, it was those damn activists. Whose number includes, among others, the associations representing Vermont school boards, principals, and superintendents, plus the teacher’s union.

Well, either the entire professional educational community is included in Scott’s shitlist of “activists,” or they are all easily duped flibbertigibbets who can be whipped into a lather for no reason by unnamed “activists.”

That’s bad enough, but I’m just getting started.

There are a LOT of Vermonters who have good reason to be fearful of Trump. The list includes, but is not limited to, immigrants, people of color, foreign students attending Vermont colleges and universities, LGBTQ+ folk, anyone whose job or employer depends on federal funding, and anyone with a family member whose job or employer depends on federal funding.

The governor, meanwhile, is none of those things. He is an independently wealthy cis white man with a high public profile. His administration might have to do some unpleasant things if federal funds are cut, but there’ll be no skin off Scott’s own derrière.

Let me tell you about someone who shares many of Scott’s advantages. He’s an established professional, white, of independent means (although his pile is a fair bit smaller than Phil Of The People’s). Still, he is pondering the possibility that he might be compelled to leave the country. Why? Because he is transgender.

He has seen people swooped up off the street, detained, and even deported on dubious (at best) grounds. Trump is now floating the idea of deporting U.S. citizens. Not undocumented immigrants, not green card holders — actual American citizens. Right now he’s talking criminals, but then Trump has a highly elastic view of criminality. His own behavior is above reproach, but others fall afoul of him for “crimes” like protesting peacefully.

What are the chances that my acquaintance would be rounded up and dispatched to Parts Unknown? I don’t know, but it’s somewhere north of zero. Trump seems likely to keep expanding his authoritarian tendencies until he encounters pushback. Given Republicans’ control of Congress and fealty to Dear Leader and a Trump-friendly majority on the Supreme Court — not to mention Trump’s long track record of flouting the law at every opportunity — who exactly is going to intervene?

I can tell you one thing. It ain’t Phil Scott.

And to my acquaintance and to thousands, tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of our fellow Vermonters, Scott’s reassurances are as impactful as a fart in a windstorm.

Or to paraphrase Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: Governor, take your pious assurances, roll ’em up real tight, and stick ’em up your candy ass.