I happened to visit Lt. Gov. John Rodgers’ official website today, and I couldn’t help but notice that his bio refers to him as “the 84rd Lt. Governor of Vermont.”

Yeah, “84rd.”

Haha, well, everybuddy makes misteaks. I added a line about it to my previous post about Rodgers’ campaign finance misadventures. It’s the little things that make this blog fun.

And then I kept reading, and it kept getting worse. Rodgers’ bio is chock full of misspellings, typos, and bad grammar.

But wait, there’s even more. I now know how that “84rd” thing got in there. Rodgers stole the first line of his official bio hook, line, and “rd” from his predecessor (and 83rd lieutenant governor) David Zuckerman’s official bio.

Now, I trust that if Rodgers has half a brain, he’ll fix his bio right quick. So let’s get the grisly details down for posterity’s sake.

The first line of Rodgers’ bio reads as follows:

Lt. Governor John Rodgers is a father, husband, farmer, former legislator, and the 84rd Lt. Governor of Vermont.

And here’s how Zuckerman’s official bio began, courtesy of the Internet Archive:

Lt. Governor David Zuckerman is a father, husband, farmer, former legislator, and the 83rd Lt. Governor of Vermont.

Hell of a coincidence, don’t you think? The two sentences are identical except for the number “4” replacing the number “3”. Whoever cut-and-pasted that thing managed to change the number without changing the suffix. Sheer genius. And the second sentence underwent only the mildest of cosmetic alterations. Zuckerman’s says “He currently lives on his farm in Hinesburg, VT with his wife Rachel and daughter Addie.”

Rodgers’ version: “He currently lives on his 200-year-old family farm in Glover, VT with his wife Brenda where is continues to farm with his son.”

Really, you couldn’t fire up the online thesaurus and find a synonym for “currently”?

Moving on. Just in case Rodgers gets busy and fixes up this mess, here’s a screenshot of the first four paragraphs of his bio as they appear at this moment:

The fun begins in the first line of paragraph two: “John Rodgers was first elected as the collector of delinquent tax in his hometown of Glover John.” Not sure where that extraneous “John” came from, although I have an idea.

A quibble with the next sentence: It should be “his district’s seat in the Vermont State Senate,” not “to.” His roster of committee postings is fine, although it’s pretty much a paraphrase of the same sentence in Zuckerman’s bio.

In the third paragraph, we have Rodgers crediting himself with being “one of the few (if not the only) legislator…”

One of the few legislator?

Perhaps that extraneous “John” in paragraph two was meant for the fourth paragraph, which begins “In 2024, entered the political sphere again…”

The sentence gets worse from there: “In 2024, entered the political sphere again running, frustrated by the cost of living is being callously increased by the super majority.”

That’s just bad. As is this sentence from the “Vermont Roots” portion of Rodgers’ bio, covering his educational experience with unintentional irony:

Young John attended Glover Community School through the fifth grade graduating Saint Paul’s Catholic Middle School . Sacred Heart High School in Newport, Vermont followed later receiving an Associates Degree from New Hampshire Technical College.

There’s more, but that will do. Supporters of Rodgers will, I’m sure, respond by pointing out his proud rural heritage. His rough edges, I can hear them say, reflect his unpretentious ways and his identification with the common folk. Like dirty fingernails and crusty calluses, poor writing is a mark of his authenticity.

But c’mon. This is the lieutenant governor’s official website. Doesn’t he have somebody who could cast this in proper English? Preferably without pilfering content from his predecessor? It’s an embarrassment.

Although it does shed new light on the deplorable state of his campaign finance reports.