Lookout world, the Young Republicans of Vermont are throwing a “Spring Fling” this Saturday at that most swingin’ of venues, the Elks Lodge in Barre. Wowie zowie.

Oh, but that’s just the beginning. The main attraction is a panel discussion featuring five Republican lawmakers, only two of whom have the slightest claim to the title “young Republican.” The guys who’ll be wearing the Steve Buscemi “How do you do, fellow kids?” costumes are Sen. Russ Ingalls and Reps. Tom Burditt and Patrick Brennan. Scintillating.

The other two panelists are a bit more germane: Reps. Casey Toof and Joe Parsons. Toof at least represents the most vibrant county in Republican politics, Franklin County. But c’mon now, you’re trying to gin up an exciting evening for young conservatives, and this is the best you can do?

But the real kicker is the complete absence of women. I mean, they don’t have a lot to choose from, but no Patricia McCoy? No Ashley Bartley? Think, fellas! Put your minds to it.

Then again, when you see the topic of discussion, you get a sense of how much brain power went into this event. Which is to say, not much.

The title of the panel is “Political Apathy: How do We Connect With Voters When They Don’t Care?”

Oh, so that’s why Republicans keep losing. We don’t care.

Well, sure. We don’t care about banning abortion or demonizing LGBTQ+ folk or cleansing school libraries or prohibiting talk of Black Lives Matter or other kinds of nonconforming American history. We don’t care about shrinking government down to the point where you can drown it in a bathtub. You’re right, we don’t care about any of that stuff you insist on yammering about. But I guess that’s a “we” problem. Got it.

Details are awfully thin regarding the rest of the evening’s doings. They mention a RAFFLE! featuring, “among other items,” a signed copy of Ron Desantis’ new book!

That’s the highlight. That’s the big draw. No further details on offer.

Tickets for this fiasco start at $40 and rise quickly from there.

Oh, and the Young Repubs have another little problem on their hands. On May 31, less than a week after the Spring Fling, the Ethan Allen Institute is hosting a fundraiser featuring none other than George F. Will. Admittedly,, his star has dimmed substantially since his salad days of being America’s favorite conscientious conservative, but it’s a hell of a step up in star power from Russ Freakin’ Ingalls.

Anyway, best to the Young Republicans.They’re gonna need it.