I don;t make it a practice to write about conservative commentators very often because that way lies madness and far too many words about Rob Roper and John McClaughry. But once in a while, an entry in this sad parade is just impossible to resist.

You may recall Gregory Thayer, failed candidate for lieutenant governor, organizer of a series of “educational” events exposing the dangers of critical race theory, co-organizer of a bus trip to the January 6 insurrection, and founder of Vermonters for Vermont, a seemingly defunct organization devoted to dog-whistling all the livelong day. Well, in the wake of yet another school shooting, Mr. Thayer Has Some Thoughts.

His message is that the Legislature isn’t doing nearly enough to protect our schoolchildren. His nifty five-part solution, left over from his lite-gubernatorial campaign: Turn the schools into armed camps full of metal detectors, surveillance cameras, lockdowns, active shooter drills, and guns, guns, guns everywhere.

Yeah kids, have fun at school!

Thayer would post “retired law enforcement officers and/or veterans,” as armed security. Presumably they’d do this for free, since Thayer doesn’t mention pay. Plus, he wants teachers and school staff to carry concealed weapons.

Sounds like an NRA wet dream to me.

Thayer also wants the schools to take an intrusive approach to kids who may be dealing with mental illness.

If a student exhibits mental-health issues and the parents won’t voluntarily submit their child to an independent evaluation, a second (and possibly third) licensed and trained therapist must evaluate the subject.

Gee, I guess parental rights are paramount when it comes to censoring curricula and banning books, but we can brush them aside when it comes to the mental health of their own kids.

After running down his five-part plan, Thayer issues a warning to “Teacher Union bosses” to “get out of the way and start protecting our children and stop worrying about your bottom line.” What that has to do with school safety, I have no idea.

Then we get the inevitable thoughts and prayers for the victims of the Nashville shooting and, of course, an assertion that gun laws wouldn’t have prevented the tragedy. No, the only solution is to turn schools into high-security prisons.

What could have helped or at least slowed [the shooter] down are surveillance cameras around the campus perimeter with detection software to detect firearms that can lock down doors and windows of entry. Metal detectors would have sounded alarms. And well trained former law enforcement or veterans on campus watching for any threat.

Note that Thayer rejects gun legislation because it can’t guarantee an end to shootings, but he’s willing to turn our schools into stockades because doing so “could have helped or at least slowed [the shooter] down.” Nope, his plan offers no more guarantees than a good stiff regime of gun control laws.

Too bad Thayer isn’t in the Legislature. If he was, he could have turned his five-part plan into a piece of legislation. He could have called it the “Stalags For Schools Bill.”