For the first time, America has elected a member of the WWE Hall of Fame to the presidency.
Yes, Donald Trump is enshrined in that (so far) imaginary Valhalla of pro wrestling legends due to his starring role in WrestleMania XXIII (which, fittingly, involved hair).
It all fits together, in fact; about the only way I can frame Trump’s victory is in pro wrestling terms. But he’s not Vince McMahon or Stone Cold Steve Austin; he’s this guy.
For those unfamiliar, that’s Ric Flair, legendary grappler who proudly calls himself The Dirtiest Player In The Game. That stylin’, profilin’, eye-gougin’, low-blowin’, referee-distractin’, 16-time World Champion, the lifelong bad guy who nonetheless captured the hearts of wrestling fans.
And then there’s the womanizing, the preposterous hair, the impenetrable shell of narcissism resistant to any personal, legal, or financial problems. Donald Trump is Ric Flair.
Think I’m exaggerating?
Yeah. Separated At Birth.
Ric Flair’s career can be seen as one long “fuck you” to convention, just like Donald Trump’s victory. Wrestling fans consistently cheered the arrogant prick who used every trick in the book to beat the “good guys.”
Trump’s campaign playbook is right out of classic pro wrestling heeldom. Baldfaced lies, crotch kicks, playing the referee (media) for a fool, shameless cheating, over-the-top theatrics. (Hillary Clinton, meanwhile, played it straight and, in the end, played the dupe.)
Trump heeled it up, and the crowd cheered.
And just like a heel champion, his favorite thing in the entire world is to shove his title belt into the face of anyone who hates him or doubts him.
In truth, I have no idea what Donald Trump will do with the presidency. He doesn’t really give a damn about policy. All he wanted was the title belt, and now he has it. He may be perfectly happy to spend the next four years shoving that belt in our faces, and letting Newt Gingrich and Rudy Giuliani and Sheldon Adelson and the Koch brothers run the country.
The winnah….. and NEEEEEW World Heavyweight Champion….
God help us.