Clueless Norm

If there was any doubt that Senator-In-Waiting Norm McAllister is completely unmoored from reality, well, this should be the last straw.

Two months after his suspension from the Vermont legislature, Sen. Norm McAllister (R-Franklin) petitioned a Senate panel last week to restore his voting privileges.

Yeah. Because, why the hell not.

Clueless Norm’s argument is: now that his trial on gross, disturbing sexual assault charges has been delayed until May, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to carry out his obligations as a duly-elected lawmaker.

Yeah, no reason at all. I can’t think of one. Can you?

Just because a return to the Senate would turn that body into a daily circus (I’d be tempted to show up every day and shout “Vaginal fisting!” every time he walked by). Just because, whether he is guilty or not, a massive stench surrounds him due to the notoriety of the charges.

Just because, based on what he has already admitted and his lawyer has already acknowledged, the only remaining question is whether he “merely” made his victims submit to unpleasant sexual encounters, or whether he actually committed assault over and over and over again.

Bear that in mind, Senator Peg Flory and his other defenders.

Bear in mind that you are supporting a man who has done vile, disgusting things to women. Bear in mind vaginal fisting, oral and anal sex, repeatedly, without the real consent of the women involved. Bear in mind that he used his official position to coerce one of his victims into an ongoing sexual relationship.

But I digress. Back to Norm.

Has he always been this unhinged, or has his self-proclaimed ordeal severed his last ties with reason? If the former, I’d like to formally thank the Republican Party for enabling this Hefty Bag O’Filth to despoil our citizen legislature for years and years.

Oh, remember the allegations that Good Ol’ Norm was verbally and physically offensive to women in the Statehouse itself? Nobody wanted to believe it, and everybody did their best to whistle past that moral graveyard until the smell couldn’t be ignored any more.

What if the guardians of legislative purity had actually done their damn jobs way back when? Would McAllister have gotten his hand slapped, taken a badly-needed course on sexual harassment, maybe cleaned up his act before it was too late? Probably a stretch, but we’ll never know, will we?

Fortunately, the Senate Rules Committee gave McAllister a quick and decisive “No” to his request for reconsideration. Whether that was principle at work or expediency, you’d have to ask them. Preferably after a suitable dose of sodium pentothal.

Either way, we won’t have Norm McAllister to kick around, at least not for a while. Given his frame of mind, however, I fully expect him to run for re-election, to the extreme discomfort of the Franklin County GOP and most of his constituents. We might see him show up next January, perhaps in a fashionable orange jumpsuit.

Do they let convicted felons sit in the Legislature? I dunno. Do they have a meaningful ethics process yet?


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