Oh hey, remember the two ninth-graders who wanted to form a chapter of Turning Point USA at their high school? The ones who had to hastily cancel a January event at the Canadian Club in Barre?

Well, they’re back. Yep, gonna give it another try on February 20. Maybe someday they’ll learn to schedule events far enough in advance to rustle up a crowd.

Interesting that Turning Point USA appears nowhere on the meeting’s publicity materials. It’s now billed as “Club America,” which, you’ll be shocked to learn, is a TPUSA joint aimed at the high school crowd. Perhaps they realized that the name “Turning Point USA” is itself a red flag a-waving.

The boys have reined in their expectations regarding speakers. They’ve dropped the “Invited” list that (laughably) included Gov. Phil Scott and professional anti-trans activist Riley Gaines. Two of the confirmed speakers from January are back on the agenda: State Rep. Michael Boutin of Barre, a first-term lawmaker with some decidedly outré views, and Vermont Republican Party chair Paul Dame.

Which once again begs the question, why is the head of Phil Scott’s party choosing to associate with a couple of dipshit kids who want to bring ultraconservative extremism to Vermont? Somebody should ask him, and should ask the governor what he thinks of Dame’s complicity.

Also what he thinks of Dame sharing a stage with “Planet Hank,” a.k.a. Hank Poitras, a Nick Shirley wannabe who’s been inflicting himself on the good people of Brattleboro. We look forward to his appearance in central Vermont as eagerly as we’d welcome a dose of the clap.

This event came to my attention thanks to a bug-eyed, spittle-flecked rant authored by “Farmer” John Klar and posted on the right-wing Vermont Daily Chronicle. I’m not going to spend much time on Klar’s essay because it doesn’t deserve any, but I do need to point out his complete misunderstanding of the First Amendment.

Klar characterizes those who don’t like TPUSA as “fascist-like” and “opponents of free speech” who want to prohibit the organization from operating in any public school. He whines about alleged “trans ideology… and pornographic books in school libraries.” Then comes his First Amendment masterstroke: Vermont’s progressives are a “Tesla-keying, child-mutilating, viable-baby-slaughtering woke mob.” Wowee, John: Defending Elon Musk, engaging in anti-trans slander, and ranting about abortion all in one comma-riddled phrase.

Thing is, John, none of Vermont’s progressives have the power or authority to violate the First Amendment. They can make life a bit uncomfortable for right-wing extremists, but they are merely exercising their free speech rights. They cannot prevent anyone from speaking out, unlike the ICE agents who arrest journalists and murder citizens on the street. It’s the feds who have the power to infringe on free speech with shows of force, arrests, detentions, and groundless prosecutions.

Whenever one exercises one’s free speech rights, one is not immune from criticism or blowback. Free speech is a two-way street, or it’s not free at all. The kids can have their little party at the Canadian Club. Those who don’t like what TPUSA stands for can protest the gathering. They might even try to disrupt the proceedings — placing themselves liable for arrest in the process.

Klar rages against the eight teachers who declined to act as sponsors for a TPUSA student organization for lacking “the courage or integrity” to do so. Sorry, John, they have the right to not support an organization antithetical to their beliefs. You can’t force a teacher to sponsor a student club of any kind. That would be a violation of, what’s that thing called, the First Amendment.

Which grants Klar the right to speak his mind, and grants me the right to call him a fringey zealot. And to suggest that he bone up on what the Constitution actually says and means.