Far be it for me to imply that the Burlington Police Department doesn’t know what the hell it’s doing, but in this case they clearly didn’t.

The BPD is in hot water, possibly to be joined in the pot by the Burlington Public Schools and Mayor Emma Mulvaney-Stanak, whose recent reappointment of Police Chief Jon Murad, over the objections of her fellow Progressives, now seems like maybe not such a great idea.

On Wednesday, a group of 20 Burlington High School students were on a field trip to One North Avenue when screams rang out and two women ran into the room, pursued by a masked gunman. Who opened fire.

It was a drill staged by the BPD with the apparent goal of scaring the shit out of the kids and maybe giving them PTSD. “I’m shaking and crying because I’m like, Oh my god, I’m gonna get shot,” one student told Seven Days. “It felt so real.”

In an utterly inadequate press release blandly (misleadingly) entitled “BHS Scenario Response,” the BPD called this a “roll- playing scenario” (sic) that “was not directed at any students or faculty.”

Pardon me, but what the actual fuck? The masked gunman was in the room with the school group and gunshots rang out. How in hell were they supposed to know that it “was not directed” at them?

The BPD’s press release is a master class in how NOT to respond to a gross mistake. They pretty much hit all the low notes, starting with a slam at the “social media posting” that started the controversy. The unsigned press release doesn’t challenge the posting’s accuracy, but asserts that it “was made by a student who was not in attendance for the presentation but who may have known someone who attended and was reportedly upset.”

So basically calling it bullshit without, um, addressing any of its content. Riiiiight.

We then get a classic non-apology for which they deserve no credit. The Department apologized “to any students in attendance who were upset by the specific scenario.”

No, not good enough. You don’t put the onus on the traumatized kids. You take responsibility, and admit that YOU were in the wrong.

And then the BPD shifts the blame to the school district, claiming that there was clear advance communication with BPS officials about the “mock shooting.” The officials replied, according to BPD, that “the students will be fine with this simulation. We will give a heads up to parents and students.” We have yet to hear how the school district responds to this.

If the BPD isn’t just bullshitting there, and it sure has the rich, loamy smell of manure, then the schools will also have serious questions to answer. In an age of all-too-frequent school shootings, this scenario couldn’t help but be trauma-inducing.

The press release closes by noting that the Department “has already reached out” to staff “to discuss the matter” and promises a Friday meeting with students and staff.

If I were a student or a parent, I’d tell the BPD to go piss up a rope. I don’t want to “discuss the matter.” I want a full apology that acknowledges the inappropriateness of the exercise.

The last line of the release expresses the hope that “this can be a reflective growth opportunity for all parties.” Again, no, wrong, shut UP. The police department is the party that needs “a reflective growth opportunity,” as do any school staff who greenlighted this fiasco. Students, parents, and any school personnel who didn’t have advance knowledge don’t need a growth opportunity. They need, and deserve, a full and undiluted apology.

Seven Days reports that the mayor is not rethinking her appointment of Murad, but does plan to meet with department heads to “’establish goals’ for the next year, including how the city engages with the public. ‘Clearly, this is going to be part of the mix,’ she said.”

Really, I think it deserves an agenda item all on its own. It’s not just a crouton in the salad bowl. Mulvaney-Stanak will have to do more to meet this moment, and she should be telling the police department — and Murad personally — to do the same.