Mark your calendars and then make other plans! This is the weekend of Libertystock, a Gathering of the Disaffected on a farm in Cabot which I like to think of as Klar-a-palooza. Libertystock’s market positioning is nicely encapsulated in the above T-shirt: an ultraconservative slash Libertarian message in alt-culture clothing.

It sounds like a downright tedious event. And it’s emblematic of the central problem of the far right in these parts: Way too many aspirational chiefs, nowhere near enough Indians, if you’ll pardon the dated turn of phrase. If you go a-Googling for conservative organizations in Vermont, it’s downright amazing how many you can find. All of them are starved for membership.

Anyway, Libertystock includes speakers, musicians, performers, and vendors in what its website describes as “an amazing event in a beautiful location” that will almost certainly draw an embarrassingly small audience. Probably more than VT Grassroots’ recent “modest but impassioned crowd of 25,” but I’d say there’s a very good chance that the performers, speakers and vendors will outnumber the actual attendees.

Think I’m exaggerating? Well, tell me which of the following is a legit attendance draw.

The top-billed speaker is none other than “Dr.” Rob WIlliams, former panjandrum of the discredited Second Vermont Republic movement and host of the seldom-watched Vimeo show “V-TV,” who is billed in conference bumpf as a “certified Breath coach” with a website and a smartphone app and everything. His latest venture, The Peak Flow, offers “science-based personalized breath training” sure to solve all our societal and medical issues.

Including, no doubt, Covid, because the rest of the speaker list is littered with pandemic denialists and anti-vaxxers. Take, for example, Chris Sky, billed as a “motivational speaker” but known in his home country of Canada as a conspiratorialist yammerer who boasts of having been arrested 27 times, including once for allegedly threatening to kill all the provincial premiers in Canada. The Conservative leaders of Ontario and Toronto labeled Sky’s anti-masking organization as “scammers” peddling fake mask exemption cards. He’s been banned by Instagram for pushing “debunked hoaxes,” which are the very best kind. He has also taken Russia’s side in the Ukraine invasion, for what it’s worth.

Other adherents to Covid denialism include Dr. Irene Mavrakakis, vice chair of the Delaware Libertarian Party and self-described “Mises Caucus Libertarian who is a staunch medical freedom, bodily autonomy, and informed consent advocate,” an orthopedist who’s strayed far from her lane in promoting anti-vax and Covid denialist views; David Gumpert, author of multiple books (published by, yes indeedy, Chelsea Green) on the benefits of raw milk who positions himself as “just asking questions” about Covid but we all know where that road ends; and Alison Despathy, critic of vaccines in general and Anthony Fauci in particular, who ran as an independent candidate for House in 2022 and lost by a better than two-to-one margin to Democrat Henry Pearl (the Republicans left their ballot spot blank).

As far as entertainment, we have the likes of Brad Borch, who encapsulates his lyrical aspirations thusly: “When COVID happened it became clear to me it was just an excuse for corporations and governments to capitalize on fear and seize more power, so many of my recent songs are about fighting tyranny”; and Ben Weir, musician, DJ, and 2022 “pro-liberty candidate for sheriff of Merrimack County in southern New Hampshire” who finished with less than one half of one percent of the vote; and a few others whose limited online footprints inspire pity more than critique.

Also in the “pity” category is speaker Dexter Lefavour, a familiar name to Washington County; voters as a multi-time loser in bids for office as a Republican and/or Libertarian.

Sharing the billing, and dominating the list of vendors, are a bunch of folks from the hippie-dippie end of the spectrum. For instance, HANNAH’s Field, described by one source as “one of the best reggae bands in New England,” which is kind of like being the best French restaurant in Perth Amboy; Biofield Tuning, which claims to be able to resolve “‘dissonance’ in our electrical system” at the root of “all physical, mental, and emotional disorders”; and the Thrive Holistic Healing Center of Newport, which will be on hand to dish out “Massage Therapy, Reiki and Crystal healing, detox salt globes and ionic foot baths.”

There are some tasty-sounding offerings in the food category and I enjoy a good ionic foot bath as much as the next guy, but I’m afraid I’ll be giving Libertystock a hard pass. Gotta clean the bird cage this weekend.