Note: It’s taken me longer than expected to spin out this series. I finally finished transcribing the whole damn hour last night. From now on, the postings will be more frequent. Promise!

On Friday, July 25, Republican gubernatorial candidate Scott Milne appeared on WDEV’s Mark Johnson Show for an hour-long interview — his first extensive media appearnce since the official launch of his candidacy. It was, to put it candidly, a trainwreck. Lots of stumbles, abrupt changes of subject, talking points cut off in the middle, bad reasoning, and transparent fabrications.

But the most inexcusable moment came about 15 minutes in. What’s rule #1 if you’re a high-profile figure going into a live media appearance?

Turn off your damn cellphone. Or hand it to your trusty aide.

Naturally, rule #1 was unknown to the newbie candidate. We pick up the action in the middle of a lengthy discourse on the management failings of the Shumlin Administration…

When you look at that, and you sort of do this, you know, they’re sort of branding their, you know, Team of Rivals by bringing all of his primary opponents or most of his primary opponents into running state agencies, I don’t think those were good management choices.  I mean one, n, no, um — [his cellphone has started ringing] no, um, just —

Milne pulls his cellphone out of his pocket, but seems unsure what to do. After a few seconds, Johnson bails him out:

Just tell ’em to call into the program. It’s much easier. 244-1777 is our local number, toll free 877-291-8255, we’ve been talking with Republican gubernatorial candidate Scott MIlne.

That gives Milne a chance to fumble with his phone and finally shut it off. It took him a full 15 seconds. And then came a feeble attempt at humor:

Thanks for turning your phone off, Mark.

He chuckles. Johnson does not.